Regrets
by Aras
Summary: There is no time to dwell on the past. You might miss something, or someone. **Warning** Mention of rape in chapter 3. Not graphic, but be warned.
1. Chapter 1

Severus approached the store in Hogsmeade. He had a goal in mind. He only had to obtain the needed materials. A quick description of what he needed, what materials, and the right mixture would prove to be everything. Satisfied with the results of his search, he left the store  
  
Continuing on down Hogsmeade, he stopped at another store. Another carefully selected mixture, and he, again, left satisfied and confident.  
  
Completing his tasks in Hogsmeade, he made his way back to the castle and down to his dungeon rooms to prepare for the evening. There would be no worries tonight if all went according to plan.  
  
In his rooms, he set up for the arrival. He positioned candles and incense throughout the room, making sure that he strategically placed everything so that everything would be within reach when he needed it to be. His packages arrived an hour or so later, and he was prepared for the evening. He made the final touches to his days work; just in time too. For, at the moment the last candle was lit, the fire grew large and gave off a greenish hue. Stepping through the fireplace was his wife, Hermione Granger.  
  
She brushed herself off before noticing her surroundings. She looked around the room to see that her husband had been busy today. Candles were lit and grouped in clusters around the room, the table had a bouquet of Heliotrope, white Hyacinth, Myrtle, and Peach Blossoms along with an elegant setting for two. Looking at the table on the right side of the sofa, she could see massage oils and incense. After looking at the room and breathing in the incense, (vanilla, her favorite), her eyes met with the passion filled ones of her husband. He stalked up to her and gathered her into his arms, palms pressing into the small of her back as he took her lips in a heated kiss. When they finally parted, gasping for air, she looked up at him.  
  
"Honey, I'm home." She said, while giggling. Severus raised one of his eyebrows and looked at her.  
  
"Just to be certain that you really are here. . ." he said as he bent his head down for another kiss. When they parted, he played satisfied that she, indeed, was present. "I guess that is proof of that."  
  
She looked back up at him. "But how do I know that you are really here?" She said playfully. Severus looked back at her.  
  
"As much as I would love to prove that to you, we better sit down to dinner before we have dessert." He said with a wicked grin. Not that he'd mind skipping dinner, mind you.  
  
Keeping one hand behind her back, he guided her towards the table, and pulled out a chair for her. Sitting on the other side, he turned to her. "Bet you can't guess what's on the menu tonight." He said.  
  
"What do I get if I win?" She asked.  
  
"A lifetime of the company of the best man you could possibly meet." He responded.  
  
"But what if I want your company instead?" She asked innocently.  
  
"Behave." He drawled.  
  
"I'd rather not." She said, still grinning at him.  
  
"Are you going to guess?" He asked.  
  
"I will guess. Pork souvlaki with taziki sauce, Greek salad, and rice." She said.  
  
"Good guess." Severus said as the plates filled with just that. It had been the meal served at their wedding one year earlier.  
  
"I thought so." She replied, as she picked up her glass of wine. They ate their meal, discussing how their days went. Hermione was now working as the Arithmancy professor. She and Severus still lived in the dungeons at Hogwarts, and Severus maintained his role as potions master and spy. Their marriage was secret to the outside world.  
  
Upon finishing dinner, Severus lifted his wand, and soft music filled the room. The song that played was the song they danced to at their wedding; The Face of Love, by Jewel.  
  
"May I have this dance?" Severus asked, getting up and holding out her hand for her to take. She looked up at him a moment.  
  
"Hmmm. I don't know. I'll have to think about th-" but was cut off when his hand grasped hers and pulled her hard into him. They did not move much. Mainly just stood their staring at the other, holding the other close. After the song finished, some soft classical pieces began. Severus led her to the sofa in front of the fire. They sat side by side, Hermione leaning her head on his shoulder while he rested his head on hers. They sat in silence a few moments, basking in each other's company.  
  
Severus began to move, much to the confusion of Hermione. He picked up his wand, and pointed it at the floor in front of the hearth. Muttering a spell, the floor softened a bit to feel more like a bunch of cushions or a mattress. He turned back to Hermione, "Lay down on your stomach."  
  
Hermione smiled and complied quickly. Getting a backrub from her husband was like getting the stress built up over her whole life out of her. He had excellent hands, and knew exactly where she needed to relax the most. She removed her outer robes and her shirt, and lay down on her stomach. Severus reached over to the table and grabbed the massage oils he had prepared earlier. Unclasping her bra, he poured a bit on her back, allowing the oil to trickle along her spine, and set the bottle aside. He than spread the oil along her back gently, before kneading the muscles in her back, sides, and arms. He found the knots in her back, and worked them out, and earned a contented sigh from the woman below his hands.  
  
After about 20 minutes, Hermione knew that if he continued much longer, she would fall asleep soon. It was their one-year anniversary, and she didn't want to do that. She began to get up, and turned to her husband. "Your turn, Severus." She said.  
  
He nodded to her, and removed his robes and shirt. Assuming the same position she had been in a few minutes ago, he relaxed his forehead onto his folded hands. Hermione picked up the bottle on the floor, and allowed the oil to run down his back. She than straddled his legs, and worked the muscles in his back. The combination of the music, the oils and incense, and the massages were relaxing the couple to the extreme.  
  
Severus began to feel like he would fall asleep if this kept up, and like his wife, did not want that to happen. After about a half hour, he got up and turned to look at his wife. Looking into her eyes, he saw the one thing he had not seen from any other in his life; unconditional love, trust, and need. He brought his hand to cup the back of her neck, and brought her in for another kiss, more passionate than the one they shared when she arrived home. Severus began to trail his lips along her cheeks, collarbone, neck, and shoulders. He moved his way back up her neck to nibble on her ear.  
  
"I have something for you." He said. She pulled back from him and looked him in the eye. Giving one of her mischievous grins, she slowly trailed her hand up his thigh.  
  
"I'm sure you do." She said. Severus looked at her, and chuckled.  
  
"Ok. I have two things for you." He said. Lifting his wand again, he summoned a black velvet box. He handed it to her, and she opened it and gasped. "Happy anniversary."  
  
"Severus, it's beautiful!" She said. Inside the box lay a necklace. It was made of simple platinum with three stones in the middle; two small diamonds and a deep blue sapphire in the middle. Severus came around behind her, taking the necklace out of the box, and bringing it around her neck. Hermione lifted her hair up while he did the clasp up. Before she could lower her hair, he brought his lips down to where her shoulders and neck met, and began to nibble on the skin.  
  
"Wait, Seveus. Don't you want your gift?" She asked, gasping as he hit a sensitive spot.  
  
"I thought you were my gift. What more could I want?" He said, as he continued his activities.  
  
She giggled. "Well, I also have two gifts for you." She said, as she took his wand from his hand, which he sometimes let her do, and summoned another box. Looking at it, he opened the box to reveal a ring with a black stone. The stone seemed to be filled with liquid and he could see swirls moving around it. She took it from the box and lifted his right hand. Placing it on his ring finger, she bent down and kissed it.  
  
"This ring has a magical connection to me." She said. "I worry about you tremendously when you have to spy for our side. When you wear this ring, or have it in contact with your skin, I can feel whether you are all right or not. I won't be able to know what you are going through, but for my own piece of mind, I wish you to wear it for me."  
  
He looked at the ring, and back to her. He would do anything for her. He leaned down, and claimed her lips with his again. When they separated, she breathed, "So, will you wear it for me?"  
  
"I would do anything that is within my power for you." He said, bending down, and kissing her again. His hands trailed her skin, leaving goose bumps as they passed it. She shivered, and Severus smiled. He knew exactly how to get a reaction from her. She knew what would get to him as well, and soon they were panting and gasping, pleading for more from each other.  
  
Severus stood up, and picked Hermione up. Cradling her in his arms, he brought them to their bedroom, another surprise waiting for her.  
  
"Severus!" She gasped. The ceiling had been enchanted in much the same way that the Great Hall had been. She had always wanted it to be.  
  
"I thought you'd like that." He chuckled, as he lay her down on the bed.  
  
They made love under the light of the stars and moon. They came together, and curled around each other, both falling asleep. Both content to remain where they were, in that moment, for all eternity.  
  
~@~  
  
It was at near 2 in the morning that Severus and Hermione were woken. Severus felt a strong burning in his left forearm. Hermione saw the telltale clutch, and both sprang into the routine that they had established over the past few years.  
  
Severus went to his closet and collected his Death Eater robes, while Hermione threw on her house robes. They both entered the main room of their quarters, and Severus muttered a password. A corridor appeared before them, and Severus turned back to his wife for a quick kiss. He looked at her, feeling not only the pain in his arm, but also the pain at being separated from her. He took a final look at her, and made his way to the front gates to appaparate.  
  
Hermione went to the fireplace and threw some powder in. "Albus. He's been called again." She said.  
  
A few moments later, Albus Dumbledore appeared in the room, feeling just as worried as Hermione looked. They took their usual seats in the room, and waited in silence for Severus' safe return.  
  
They waited in vain.  
  
Hermione used her connection with Severus' ring, and became apprehensive as it transmitted the state of his well-being. She could sense the pain of an unforgivable no long after appaparating. It seemed like it lasted forever. She couldn't feel the pain; but waiting for the pain to stop for her husband was almost as excruciating. Eventually it did stop, but the fear that he was feeling was evident to her. She could sense his panic, his anger, his shock, and finally, a feeling of regret. Going through this was taking more of a toll on her than she realized it would, but she had to know. For some reason, she suddenly could not feel his emotions any longer.  
  
It took a few moments for the implications of that to come to her attention. For a moment, she felt absolute panic and shock; her own this time. A few seconds later, the wards around the castle were disturbed, causing Hermione and Albus to rush out of the room to the front gates to a ghastly site. Madam Pomfrey arrived only seconds later.  
  
Severus lay on the outskirts of the castle, covered in blood. His face distorted in absolute pain and sadness.  
  
The mediwitch sprang into action, and Albus shielded Hermione from what was going on with her husband. Poppy checked for a pulse and found an extremely weak one that was quickly dimming. She conjured a stretcher, and brought Severus to the hospital wing. Albus insisted that Hermione not accompany them, and brought her to their quarters. He gave her a dreamless sleep draught, and stayed until the potion took hold.  
  
~@~  
  
Severus appeared at the site that the Dark Lord had chosen for tonight's meeting. When he looked up, however, he noticed something quite odd. He was in the middle of a large star. He could not see anyone around the room he was in. He began to walk to the outside of the star, but was pushed back into the middle when he neared it.  
  
"Ah, Severus." He heard a cold voice say. "I'm glad to see you've arrived." Looking in the direction of the voice, he saw a figure emerge from the shadows - Lucius Malfoy. "Can't play the game if you're missing any of the pieces now, can we?"  
  
"What are you on about, Lucius?" Snape replied impatiently.  
  
"Like I said, we're going to play a game." Lucius replied with an evil glint in his eye. "It's called 'Who Can Make the Traitorous Spy Squeal Loudest!' Doesn't it sound like fun?"  
  
"What are you on about, Lucius? Our master will not be pleased." Snape said. He'd spent years trying to earn the trust of Voldemort, and succeeded a few months ago at one of the dark revels. He'd turned over a 'spy' to Voldemort, who was in actual fact, a loyal follower who made a terrible mistake. It was easy to twist the truth with that one.  
  
"Your master has come to watch the fun." The another cold voice came. Voldemort stepped beside Lucius. "You have been careless, Severus."  
  
"My Lord?" Severus asked.  
  
"I have asked one of my followers to keep an eye on you." Voldemort replied. "And the reports I've received have been rather disappointing. I think I need something to lift my mood."  
  
The next few hours were filled with different 'games'. Some involved target practice. If you hit one of the corners of the star, you scored a hit, and earned points. If you hit Snape himself, you received more. More games were played, and points given. The Death Eater with the highest number got the first choice at the other 'guests'. Before finally sending him back to Hogwarts gates, he was physically beaten and portkeyed out.  
  
~@~  
  
Madam Pomfrey worked tirelessly on restoring Severus to consciousness. It had been 2 hours since his return to the castle, and the state he arrived in held little hope for the concealment of his spy status. If he survived this night, he would not be returning to the Dark Lord again.  
  
Finally, Poppy gave up on trying to wake him, and settled for the fact that his vitals were steady. With the patient cleaned up, she drew the sheet over him, and allowed him to sleep. There would be time for questions later.  
  
As she pulled the sheet, Albus entered the room through the fireplace. "How is he, Poppy?"  
  
The mediwitch glanced at him before turning her eyes to gaze back at the form of the potions master.  
  
"He's still unconscious, but he has a good chance of surviving, despite the state in which he was found. How's Hermione?" She asked with a great deal of concern in both her eyes and her voice.  
  
"I've given her some dreamless sleep draught, and she is resting in their quarters. Once she gets some sleep, she will be better able to deal with the situation and help Severus through it." Albus said.  
  
"No." They both heard the weak voice mutter, and turned to look at the patient. "She cannot know I survived. No one can." He said. Both Albus and Poppy stood utterly shocked.  
  
"Albus, they know of what I have done. They know that I have been giving them misinformation; they know I have been reporting their movements to you." Severus said, voice very strained from the screaming that came from his throat for most of the night.  
  
"Severus, I can understand that your surviving be kept a secret from them, but why Hermione to?" Poppy asked.  
  
"As much as I love my wife dearly, Poppy, I know her well. She is no good at deception. If something slips, and any of Voldemort's followers find that I am alive and that she is incredibly important to me, they will go after her. It is better if they remain completely oblivious." Severus said, his voice giving away his extremely weakened state.  
  
"Sleep, Severus." Albus said. "When you have had rest and are able to think this through thoroughly, we will speak again. For now I will tell Hermione that you are still unconscious and that there is a possibility that you may not survive. Nothing will be definite until you have made an informed choice." He continued with a finality that left no room for argument. Severus rested his head back on the pillow and fell asleep. Madam Pomfrey pulled the curtains around his bed, and the Headmaster went back to his room. He would prepare a speech to inform the students of Professor Snape's death.  
  
What would he tell Mrs Snape though?  
A/N: Just a note on the flowers:  
  
Heliotrope stands for devotion  
  
White Hyacinth stands for Unobtrusive Loveliness  
  
Myrtle stands for love, and  
  
Peach Blossoms mean "I am your captive".  
  
I found these on if you're interesting in finding out some more meanings of some flowers. 


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione woke up to the sun shining in her eyes.  She was surprised momentarily that she was not resting on the chest of her husband.

And than she remembered the night before.

In panic, she jumped out of bed and threw the first robes that she found on.  Putting on a pair of slippers, she exited the bedroom.  She than walked to the entrance to their living quarters, but was stopped when a voice called, "Hermione."

Hermione looked back to her sitting room where Albus Dumbledore sat.  "I need to speak with you."  He said, gesturing to the seat in front of him.

"I need to see my husband."  Hermione replied frantically.

The headmaster lowered his head slightly.  "That is what I need to speak with you about."  He replied sadly.

Hermione looked at Albus, feeling the tears well up in her eyes.  'No.  He couldn't have died.  He had to have made it.  Oh Severus!'  She thought.  Her legs obeyed the headmaster's orders without her knowledge, and she made her way to one of the chairs in front of the fire.

"Hermione, I'm afraid that although Severus is still with us, the probability of his survival is not promising."  He started, the twinkle in his eye nonexistent at the moment.  He sat watching the woman, waiting for her reaction.  He didn't want to mislead her, but until the final decision was made, he had to.

The tears began to flow freely down Hermione's face at the thought that her husband could die.  She remembered the state that she felt and saw him in the night before.  He had been physically beaten, bloodied up, hexed and cursed to almost oblivion.  She could see it in his eyes.  Still, she believed that he would survive this; that she would have another chance to convince him to discontinue with his spying.

It was a good thing she was sitting.  There was no way that her legs would hold her up at the moment.  She could barely keep her head up, and supported it in her hands.  Albus stood from his chair and handed her a tissue to help clean her up.

"I need to see him."  She said, and tried to get up, but stumbled back down.

"Not now, Hermione.  I'll speak to Poppy about allowing you to see him later on.  Right now, I'm more concerned with you."  Albus replied.

"How could you be more concerned with me?  My life is not hanging in the balance.  I am not lying on some hospital bed with a very real possibility of death.  I have not been subjected to hexes and curses and physical beatings for most of my life for "the greater good"!"  She spat back at him.  "How can you be more concerned for me?"

Her emotional state was very unbalanced at the moment.  Nodding, he got up.  "You need to calm down, Hermione.  A spot of tea may help you to deal with the situation.  When you are more composed, we can talk about you seeing him."  Albus said, walking over to the small kitchen.  He made up two cups of tea, and laced hers with another sleeping potion.  Now that he had an idea as to what her reaction would be if she were told her husband were dead, he decided to inform Severus.  First, he had to deal with her.

He brought the two cups of tea back to the sitting room.  He handed her the one with the sleeping potion, and sipped at the other.  About 20 minutes later, she was asleep once again.  The headmaster carried Hermione back to her bedroom and tucked her in.     Looking at the sleeping form, he left the bedroom and headed back for the hospital wing.

~@~

"It doesn't matter, Albus.  I cannot allow knowledge of my survival to leave these walls."  Severus said, stubborn as ever.  "They know I'm a spy.  They think I'm dead.  Let everyone believe the same thing."

"Severus, I do not wish you to make a decision that you will come to regret one day."  Albus replied sadly.  "Please give this more time.  Please give this more thought."

"Albus, my final decision has been made.  As of right now, I am dead."  Severus exclaimed.  "When the war ends, and I'm sure that Hermione will be out of danger, I only hope that I can convince her that I did this for her own good.  If I survive, that is."

"Severus, this could destroy her.  You are her life to her. You are everything to her."  Albus exclaimed passionately.  "You cannot leave her like this."

"Albus, she is everything to me.  Which is why I couldn't bear to be the reason for her death.  She will recover."  Severus said.  "She will move on."

"I will go through with your ludicrous plan, on one condition."  Albus said.

"What is that?"

"You will survive, you will return for her."  Albus said.  "And you will fight to win her back.  I know that she will take your leaving personally."

"I know.  Promise me this, old friend."  Severus said.

"For what you have done for our side, for me.  I will promise you anything."  Albus replied.

"Promise me you'll watch over her while I am gone.  I'd ask you to let me know how she is regularly, but there is a danger that the communication be traced."  Severus said, his eyes full of regret for what he was about to do to his love.

"I promise."  Came the sad reply.

~@~

Arrangements had to be made before they could announce the death of the Potion's Master.  They had to come up with a shell that could fool anyone, for a time at least.  They would cremate it in the end to keep anyone from discovering that it was not, indeed, Severus Snape.  The only people who would know that he was still alive would be himself, Poppy and Albus.  They also decided that it would be best to inform Hermione separate from the staff and students.  Her reaction could reveal their secret marriage.  Afterwards, it could be announced that one of her family members passed, covering for her expected detachment from the staff and giving her an excuse to grieve.

This was the task that the Headmaster was embarking on now.  Approaching the Snape's chambers, Albus knocked on the door, and was let in.  Hermione had not been informed any further on the condition of Severus, and would now be told that she was widowed.  The sad look in Albus' eyes was genuine.  'Merlin help us get through this.'  He thought as she opened the door.

When Hermione saw who it was, she was anxious.  She was forbidden to go the hospital wing since Severus returned from the revel.  She didn't know anything further than his chances for survival.  Taking one look at the Headmaster's face, she knew what was coming.

"No."  She whispered.  She began to shake her head, backing into the room.  "No."  She repeated.

"I'm afraid so, Hermione."  Albus replied softly as he closed the door.

"Severus.  No."  She continued to shake her head.  Her knees gave out, and she landed on the floor on all fours.  "Please, Merlin!  No!"  She began to repeat more loudly.  Her head dropped down, and she began to hyperventilate.  "No!  Please tell me it's not true!  It cannot be true!"  She gasped.

Albus kneeled down beside her, and started to rub her back gently.  "Hermione, just breath."  He said calmly.  Her body continued to shake.  Helping her up, he directed her towards the sofa and conjured up some tea.  He handed her a cup, but she refused to move.  Sighing, he placed it on the table in front of them.

"I'm afraid there was nothing that could be done, Hermione."  The Headmaster said.  "He couldn't hold on anymore."

Hermione looked back at the Headmaster, angry tears filled her eyes.  "You BASTARD!  You didn't even let me see him one last time!"  She yelled angrily.  Flinging from her seat, she advanced on him.  "I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye!  How COULD you?"  She punctuated it by slapping him across the face.

The Headmaster was taken aback, but did nothing to retaliate.  

"I will never see him alive again!  And it's YOUR fault!  You made him spy for you so that he wouldn't go to Azkaban!  You allowed him to continue!  You allowed him to. . .to. . ."  but she couldn't say anymore, as she ran to the bathroom and began to violently retch.  

Albus got up after a few moments, and walked towards the bathroom.  She was leaning her head against the porcelain, sobbing quietly.  He reached for a facecloth and dampened it under the faucet.  Kneeing on the floor beside her again, he moved her hair out the way, and handed her the cloth.

Still shaking, she took the cloth and wiped the fluids from her face.  Silence fell for a few minutes.  Finally, she whispered, "I'm sorry."

"I will not defend my actions, Hermione.  I did what I thought best, and I truly regret what happened."  He said.  "Is there anything you need?"

"I need to be alone, Albus."  She whispered again.  "I just need to be alone."

~@~

A few days later, a somber tune filled the dungeon hallways of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  

Spend all your time waiting  
for that second chance  
for a break that would make it okay  
there's always one reason  
to feel not good enough  
and it's hard at the end of the day

In the Snape's chambers, Hermione sat in front of the fire, staring ahead at nothing at all, the ring that she gave Severus for their anniversary clutched in her hand.  Although their time together was short, she had many memories to think back on.  She half listened to the song playing the background, and thought it funny how it reminded her so much of Severus.

I need some distraction  
oh beautiful release  
memory seeps from my veins

The memorial had been beautiful.  Because of the state that Poppy had said his body was in, it would be best for them to cremate him.  Over the mantle were the remains of the man that, only a few days ago, she'd made love to for the last time. 

Let me be empty  
and weightless and maybe  
I'll find some peace tonight

Peace?  Right!  Not seemingly likely for her at the moment.  He'd found his peace, though.  He'd spent decades tortured, by himself and others.  He'd done things for people that no one would believe him capable of.  Even the newspapers had labeled him 'The Death Eater Who Finally Got His'.  She couldn't even do anything about it.  Their marriage was a secret from everyone.  Albus told her that in light of what had happened, it'd be best not to expose herself to any extra attention.  She shut down her thoughts for a moment to listen to the song playing.

In the arms of an angel  
fly away from here  
from this dark cold hotel room  
and the endlessness that you fear  
you are pulled from the wreckage  
of your silent reverie  
you're in the arms of the angel  
may you find some comfort there  
"I hope you do, Severus."  She whispered aloud.  "I miss you.  I'll always love you."

"As he will you."  A voice startled her out of her trance.  She turned and found Albus approaching the chair beside the sofa she was sitting on. Neither spoke for a few moments.  Both just stared off into the fireplace.

So tired of the straight line  
and everywhere you turn  
there's vultures and thieves at your back  
and the storm keeps on twisting  
you keep on building the lie  
that you make up for all that you lack  
it don't make no difference  
escaping one last time  
it's easier to believe   
In this sweet madness   
Oh this glorious sadness   
That brings me to my knees

"I need to begin teaching my classes again, Albus."  She finally broke the silence.

"Are you sure, Hermione?  We can continue to cover them if you feel you are unable to."  He replied.

"I need to get back into my routine."  She said.

"Do not overexert yourself, child."  Albus said.  "You have more than yourself to think about."  Hermione snapped her head back up to look at the Headmaster.

"Poppy told me."  Is all he said in reply.

"I thought it was all because Severus was gone."  She said, turning her attention back to the fire.  "It wasn't until Poppy refused to let me leave the hospital wing that I found out."

Albus nodded.

"He won't even be here with me.  He won't experience it all with me."  Hermione continued, tears starting to run down her face, expression unchanged.  "She will never know her father."

"As I said, Hermione.  We don't want you to over exert yourself.  You know we will all help you in this time."  Albus said.

"I know.  But what will I tell people when they ask?  I cannot tell them that Severus and I were married.  I cannot tell them that he cared for me at all."  She said, truly at a loss for what she could do.  "What am I to do?"

Albus regarded her sadly.  "Do what is most comfortable to you."  He said, standing to excuse himself from her chambers.  Before leaving, he took one look back at the woman sitting on the sofa, and allowed a tear to fall for her.

A/N:

The song is Sarah McLachlan's 'Angel'.  I found the lyrics at 


	3. Chapter 3

**WARNING** Mention of rape!! It's not graphic, but if you're squeamish about this, do NOT read!!!  
  
~@~ Years Later ~@~  
  
Hermione dropped down on the sofa in her teaching quarters after a long, hard day of classes. 'Damn it Dumbledore! Why must you always put Slytherin and Gryffindor together?' She asked herself. She still found it amusing when Albus would just preach about how the inter house relations could benefit from it. It only gave her and most of the teaching staff a large headache.  
  
She thought back to the past 12 years of her life. She still missed Severus; every day, in fact. She looked up to the mantle and her husband's remains. "You've missed so much, my love. My life has been happy, but I would have been more than happy had you been a part of it longer."  
  
"Hey Mom!" She heard her daughter's voice say as she walked into the room. Adrien Sevina Sn - no Granger; she had to remind herself. She was born almost 9 months after Severus was taken from her. After Severus died, she felt she had nothing to live for. That was, until, she found out she was pregnant. It wasn't an easy time for her, but Adrien gave her strength to move on.  
  
"Hey Mom. Temruc pointed out that if you rearrange the initials of my name, they spell SAG." Adrien said. "So now he's callin' me 'Sag the Hag'." She continued with annoyed amusement. "Dang Gryffindor's. No offense, Mom."  
  
"None taken." Hermione replied as she smiled at her daughter. She was now a first year Ravenclaw, and every bit as stubborn as her two parents. She was really starting to sound like her father.  
  
"So I told him that if we rearrange the letters of his name, they spell 'rectum', so I called him an ass." She continued. "He got mad at me, but I told him that if he wants to dish it out, he should be able to take it. It's only logical, right?"  
  
"Of course. But it's still not very nice, and you shouldn't be swearing." Hermione said.  
  
"Please! Like you never have." Adrien retaliated.  
  
"Still doesn't make it right." Hermione countered.  
  
"I guess not." Adrien noticed Hermione's gaze drifted to the covered vase on the mantle. Hermione told her that the ashes were of a good friend of hers. One who didn't have many in his life. She was the only one to make claim on his remains after he died.  
  
"Did you love him?" Her daughter asked.  
  
"Yes. Very much so." Hermione replied. She shook herself out of her trance, and looked back at the student. "Now, I believe you have homework to do."  
  
"Your wish is my command, Madame!" Adrien replied. Very much the academic, she grabbed her book bag and ran for the library. Before she left the room, however, she called back, "You better get that homework marked, Mom. Crysalin says that she would like some extra help afterwards."  
  
Crysalin Potter. She was Harry's oldest, now a second year Gryffindor. Product of an apparent one night stand between Harry and Ginny, although not one that ended badly. Now, they've been happily married for over a decade, with 5 children. Even though Harry was in constant danger, he refused to hide under a rock until Voldemort was defeated. Who knew when that would happen anyway?  
  
Hermione dragged herself off the sofa, and headed for her office. She had a large stack of parchment to get through this week, and set to work on it.  
  
~@~  
  
"MOM!" The door to her office flew open and smacked into the wall. "Come quick! Bring your wand!" Adrien cried out. She flew to her mother's desk, grabbed her by the wrists, and pulled with all her strength.  
  
"Adrien! What's the matter?" Hermione asked, confused by her daughter's behaviour.  
  
"Mom! Hurry! I've already caught up to Professor Lupin and Professor Cravin! They're all heading out to the front lawn! Crysalin and Temruc are out there! They're in trouble." She said quickly.  
  
Hermione clutched her wand out of her left sleeve and followed Adrien to the front of the school. What met her was shocking.  
  
A line of Death Eaters was approaching the school; Crysalin being held and pushed by Lucius Malfoy, and Temruc by his son, Draco. They continued their advance on the school as the three teachers and Adrien looked on in shock. Hermione noticed Draco raise his wand towards her, and she raised hers back. The curse he muttered approached her, but she was able to block it. She became quite good at defense since Remus came back to the school.  
  
Other Death Eaters also began to fling curses towards the group. Professor Lupin and Cravin stood in front of Hermione and Adrien as Hermione pushed her daughter back inside the building.  
  
"What about you Mom?!?" She asked, panicking.  
  
"Get in the school, NOW! Don't look back. Just get the headmaster!" Hermione called back, and than turned to help the other two teachers defend.  
  
Against an army of Death Eaters, they really did not stand a chance. They kept trying to slow them down. It would be at least something. It wasn't long before both Remus and Cravin were struck down with the killing curse. Hermione was hit with the Cruciatus, and she fell to the ground. It was odd. Why were they not killing her as well? Her answer came from Malfoy Jr.  
  
"Leave the Mudblood for me. I've been waiting to have some fun with her for awhile now." He said as he tossed Temruc towards one of the masked men.  
  
Draco bent down and forced Hermione to her feet. With a flick of his wand, both disappeared.  
  
~@~  
  
"Ah, Granger. Welcome!" She heard as she regained consciousness. The first thing she noticed was that she was chained up against the wall. The second was that she was nude. The room she was in had stonewalls, floors, and ceiling. The walls were covered with rusty chains, and had a cabinet off to the side.  
  
"What do you want, Malfoy?" She snapped at him.  
  
"You know, for all those brains you apparently have, you sure can't figure out the obvious here, can you Mudblood?" He drawled. "I intend to torture you, rape you, and than kill you."  
  
She began to struggle, causing him to laugh. "Oh, don't worry, Granger. I'll make it last as long as possible." He brought out a whip and began lashing out towards her. She was facing him, and got the brunt of the force on her chest. Some of the strike was absorbed at her face.  
  
"No, I'll do more of this later." He said as he snapped his fingers. She immediately was forced to face the wall. He began using the whip on her backside. She bit her lip to keep from crying out and drew blood.  
  
"What? No screaming? I'm disappointed." She heard Draco say. He approached the cabinet on the side of the room, and opened it. She did not see what he took out. When he threw the substance on her, she knew exactly what it was - salt. She finally couldn't hold it in anymore as he rubbed the salt in. She let out an ear-piercing scream that made Draco jump back.  
  
"Ah. Much better." He replied as he began to work the whip again.  
  
It seemed like he continued this forever. He would whip her for a few minutes, than throw more salt on her. He would than whip her again, until he finally tired of it. Grabbing her hair, he yanked her head back. "Enough of that." He said.  
  
She did not know what he would do next, nor did she want to find out. But she would anyway. Another snap of his fingers, and she faced him once again. He brought an index finger to her face, and wiped a tear from her cheek.  
  
"Awww. Granger. I'm nowhere near done with you." He said in mock sympathy. He reached for his trousers and began to adjust them. Hermione looked away as he did so. He soon grabbed her knees and forced them apart, pushing her back against the stonewall, allowing the ridges in wall to push against her injuries in her back. He forced himself inside of her, and began to thrust hard. This felt like it kept up longer than the whipping as he continued to thrust harder into her. Finally, he groaned and stiffened to signify he was done. He allowed her feet to drop to the ground, and looked at her face.  
  
"Didn't like that, Mudblood?" He asked. She kept silent as he leant over to her ear. "I guess I'll have to try again." He whispered. He righted his trousers again, and walked over to a nearby table. Picking up a goblet, he took a drink and studied her.  
  
"You know, Granger. You should be happy that I would give you such attentions before I kill you. You should be thankful that I allow you to experience such things with me." He said arrogantly. She refused to look at him.  
  
Picking up his wand, he sighed impatiently and pointed it at her. "Crucio." He muttered. She began to scream and writhe against the curse. When the curse ended, he put his wand on the table, and walked towards her again. Another snap of his fingers, and she faced the wall. He yanked her hair back and hissed in her ear. "Let me hear you scream." He pushed her face back into the wall, making her nose feel like it was broken. She felt herself begin to lose consciousness.  
  
He released her hair, and began to adjust his trousers once again. But something happened. She couldn't make out much of what was going on, but she saw Draco suddenly slam into the wall face first. He was knocked out instantly, and fell to the floor, blood coming out of his nose.  
  
Whoever had just attacked Draco was now releasing her from her restraints. The last memory she had before blacking out was a pair of arms picking her up.  
  
~@~  
  
Severus Snape carried Hermione out of Malfoy Manor before appearing at the gates of Hogwarts. He covered her body with his cloak, and continued on his way to the Hospital wing. The final battle had been fierce, and they had some casualties. However, the spies that Albus still had ensured that they remained to the absolute minimum.  
  
Severus continued up the steps of the front entrance. There were still quite a few people there who were shocked to see him. He had reappeared during the battle, and most people thought him dead. He'd disappeared over 12 years ago and they were told he was dead. It was not learned yet that he had been a spy and had been discovered.  
  
He entered the hospital wing, and Poppy sprang into action. "Thank Merlin you found her!" Poppy exclaimed.  
  
"If only sooner." Severus replied. "She's been whipped, beaten, and. . .raped." He choked on the last word. Setting Hermione down on the nearest empty bed, he was shooed out of the area, and the curtain was drawn. He waited until Poppy had finished healing her. He heard a young girl's hysterics, and turned to see where it was coming from.  
  
A young girl with dark eyes, and straight chestnut brown hair was sitting at the bedside of another young girl. She recognized the girl on the bed as Potter's daughter. Lucius had killed her in the final moments of the battle in front of her father. Harry had blacked out after destroying Voldemort. It took all his energy to do so, and he was probably fueled more so by the anger produced by his daughter's death.  
  
He spotted Albus approach the girl and lay a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him, and nodded sadly. Albus leaned down and said something to her, and she looked over at the curtain where Severus was standing. Both her and Albus approached it, and waited.  
  
"Severus," Albus spoke quietly.  
  
"Albus." He nodded.  
  
"How is she?"  
  
"I believe she will live, but her injuries are. . .numerous." He replied.  
  
The curtains were drawn back, and Hermione was revealed, still unconscious, but her injuries were tended to.  
  
"Mom!" The girl cried out, and ran to the bedside. Severus could only stand there in shock and watch. Albus noticed his reaction, and chuckled softly to himself.  
  
"You've missed quite a bit in your absence, Severus." Albus whispered.  
  
All Severus could do was nod.  
  
~@~  
  
Hermione awoke a few days later. Her vision blurred, she barely could make out the figure sitting by her bed. She blinked a few times, but it was gone by the time her vision cleared. She thought for sure that there was someone there. But there wasn't now. She turned her head, and saw her daughter sitting in a chair sleeping.  
  
"Hey Mom." The groggy voice came. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"I've been better,. . .Sag." Hermione replied.  
  
Adrien smiled at the humour, glad to see that her mother would be all right. She'd heard from Uncle Albus what had happened in the dungeons at Malfoy Manor. All those who knew her knew that she didn't want things to be sugar coated. She wanted the blunt honest truth - although she wished they made an exception in this case.  
  
"You all right?" Hermione asked.  
  
"I'm just a little upset." Adrien replied. "Professor Lupin and Professor Cravin died in the battle."  
  
Adrien had been close to both professors, getting extra tutelage from both and growing up with both of them in the castle.  
  
"But there's something else, isn't there?" Hermione asked.  
  
Adrien took a deep breath. "Uncle Albus told me about what happened to you." She said, voice a bit shaky. "I'm just really worried about you."  
  
"Don't you worry, Adrien. I have you to help me through this. What more could I need?"  
  
A/N:  
  
Rumidha: I hope you got the e-mail I sent you. If not, let me know. As for the ring, during the song, she's holding it. So it was taken off of Severus so she wouldn't have that connection to him.  
  
SevenSparkles: Even though the song is about suicide, I thought it would be appropriate when thinking more of Severus than Hermione. I was actually listening to the song as I was writing that chapter, and thought after the years of spying, the years of pain and sacrifice that he went through, it would be good. As for the ring, during the song, she's holding it, so it's been taken off of him.  
  
I hope to hear from more of you. I like getting constructive criticisms back. 


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